Feeling Better New Pet Ready

Which type of person are you?

A. I will never get another pet because I can never go through this kind of pain again.

B. I am deeply sad, but I do want to welcome a new pet into my home when I feel ready. I want to honor the pet that I lost by giving a loving home to another pet that needs it.

How will you know when you are ready for a new pet?

Adopting a new pet before you have worked through your grief can cause problems for both you and your new pet. Every person experiences grief differently.

For some the loneliness or quiet of an empty house can make grieving more difficult and painful, and a new pet can help the healing process.

Some people resent a new pet obtained too soon, so don’t make a hasty decision. Take your time. Don’t let anyone rush you into making a decision, or pressure you into making a choice that isn’t right for you, no matter how well -meaning the friend or relative.

The time is right when you feel you have worked through your grief sufficiently to be confident that you can look forward to new relationships, rather than backward at your loss. This might be a matter of days, or weeks, or months or even years.

Your new pet will not be a “replacement” for the one you lost, but a brand new relationship which is unique and built over time, with a new set of memories and experiences. Look for a pet that is in some way different from your lost pet.

We’re in this together

Select a different breed or sex or with different colorings, or markings. If your new pet looks too much like your previous pet, it is easy to be disappointed if it doesn’t look like or behave like your lost pet.

Make sure that the breed, size, sex, energy levels and specific needs of your new pet fits well with your current lifestyle and financial situation.

Involve all family members in the decision to adopt a new pet, especially children in your home or family. Children often build strong attachments to pets, and may feel that giving their love to a new pet is “disloyal” to their previous pet. Make certain all members of the family have had a chance to properly work through their individual grieving process.

Involve everyone in discussions on what particular type of pet to adopt and let children help in selecting the new pet where possible.

Don’t give your new pet the same name or nickname as your previous pet.

Don’t compare your new pet to your previous pet, especially if you adopt a young pet and your previous pet had lived a long life. A long time pet is very different from a young, energetic pet that has not yet learned to be well behaved and still has to go through the phases of being destructive, disobedient, noisy, and not housetrained. Remember your new pet will have its own personality and charming behaviors and will grow out of its “difficult” phase, just as your previous pet did.

Consider the needs of your surviving pets. Will they welcome or resent a newcomer? Some pets seem to genuinely mourn the loss of a companion, and you may find that you need to introduce a new pet simply to comfort the survivor or ease their acute loneliness. Remember, however, that most cats and dogs are territorial by nature, and that it will take them time to adapt to a new pet in the home. Once you have introduced a new pet into the household, make sure your existing pets receive lots of attention and loving affirmations. Pay attention to how they treat the newcomer, and be prepared to step in to make sure the new pet is treated kindly, as everyone adjusts to the new dynamic. Be patient with all your pets, new and old alike.

If you are still not certain that you are completely ready for a new pet, consider
volunteering or giving back to feel better.